Random Access

Sunday – 11 January 2015
Day 11: Memento mori. “Remember that you will die.” Admittedly, this isn’t the most pleasant topic. There is, however, great benefit in meditating on the reality that at some point, you will in fact die. It motivates you to live the life right now that you want to be living. Meditate on this, and write out your thoughts. Does death scare you? Does it motivate you? It’s okay to be honest.

I’ve pondered this at various points in life. My thoughts have kind have been all over the place on it: I’ve thought about it as “the next phase.” I’ve worried. I’ve found solace in my faith. I’ve feared. I’ve tried not to think about it.

At this point, I think that it’s reasonably safe to say that while I don’t necessarily fear dying, I don’t have any intention of meeting The Lady Death anytime soon. Even if she looks like this:

Of The Endless…

That said, I hope to live a long, full life. My prime reason? are these three:

I want to be around for them.

One day, I won’t be here. I hope that when that time comes, those I leave behind can say that I was a good son, brother, husband, and friend. That’s my motivation and the legacy that I want to leave behind. What more can I ask for?

Namaste.

Saturday – 10 January 2015
Day 10: Take a look at the hero’s journey, and identify where you are in that journey. Doing so can help you better understand where you are in life, and help you figure out where to go next. You can take it in the context of your entire life, or you can take it in the context of a certain phase of your life. Either way, you can be sure that you’re part of a greater journey, and knowing what comes next can help guide you along.

If I go with the “entire life” context, then I’d say that I’m somewhere in the Apotheosis and Resurrection phase:

Often, the Hero needs for all of his growth to come to a head and manifest itself all at once in a moment of enlightenment called apotheosis; this realization is the death blow to the old self and beliefs, and the embracing of the new; this is punctuated by a symbolic (sometimes literal) death and resurrection

My moment of enlightenment was learning and accepting that I was ready to get married and possibly start a family. (Fortunately, Sara! was amenable to both of these.) Becoming a husband and father was most definitely the “death” of my being single and whatever manner of “footloose and fancy-free” I may have been. My “resurrection” was becoming part of a greater whole and, later, a father.

It’s been an interesting part of the journey and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Namaste.

Friday – 09 January 2015
Day 9: On this day, simply write about your day. This may seem especially boring, but write out the events of your day. What time you woke up, what you had for breakfast, what your commute was like, what you did during at work, how you spent your evening. If you’re journaling in the mornings, write about the previous day. The beauty of this exercise is that you may discover something that you hadn’t realized. Maybe you weren’t very productive at work, and reflecting on it can allow you to analyze why. Perhaps you finished a big project on the house when you got home; you can think about what motivated you, how it made you feel to finish something big, etc. Don’t discount the seemingly simple task of writing about your day.

Let’s see…

This morning, I woke up at 7:15, when my alarm went off. I promptly set it to “snooze” and caught a few more minutes’ shut-eye. I actually got out of bed a little before 7:30. I showered, shaved and got partially ready for the day – my morning prep was interrupted by getting little girls out of bed and started on their day. I skipped breakfast… no, not entirely true: I delayed breakfast until I got to work (leftover doughnuts from last night’s Dunkin Donuts trip). I saw Sara and Team DiVa off and then headed to work myself.

The commute wasn’t bad. Traffic moved at a brisk pace from the freeway to the interchange I take to the other freeway that takes me to work.

Work was. There’s a project that I’ve been helping with that has hit a lot of snags along way. Yes, it’s sometimes the nature of the beast, but it’s made for a trying week. Coupled with the server issues that started last Friday, I was already at 40 hours on the week by this morning. I was in the office until nearly 6:30 tonight; I was beyond ready to put the office in the rear view mirror at that point. And I did. Quickly.

Home for dinner with Sara! and the ladies. We’ve been doing three meals a week from Blue Apron; tonight’s fare was: Spicy chicken tacos, avacado and jicama salad, and rice. It was a good dinner.

The girls are watching their pre-bedtime show now. I should be washing dishes, but I couldn’t find the motivation to do them just yet.

Maybe in a few minutes.

Besides, it’s afforded me the time to write this post.

I was tentatively supposed to play dolls ‘Clix with the guys, but no one turned out to be up for it tonight. Oh, well. I still have Destiny or Disney Infinity or Titanfall to get me through the night.

Namaste.

Thursday/Friday – 08/09 January 2014
I was so intent on relaxing after work this evening, that I completely forgot about today’s challenge… until I had been in bed for a couple minutes. But, not wanting to skip a day, I got out of bed to do it.

Day 8: Take some time today to reflect on your career. Jot down a timeline of it, including all the ups and downs. What was your best experience? And the worst? What would you like your future to look like, in terms of your career? If you’re a young man and haven’t started in yet, focus on that future part. What do you want your work to look like?

Work timeline (very high-level view)
I have worked for:

• Architecture firm (high school internship)
• U.S. Postal Service (service employee/supervisor)
• A friend’s auction management start-up (IT/Operations Manager)
• A tech startup… that wound up getting acquired by a larger – much larger –  company (IT)
• A consumer good manufacturer (IT)

I don’t know that I’ve had a “best” and a “worst” work experience. There have been good and bad points at each job. There were things that I loved, as well as things that I absolutely hated. Could I name them? Sure, but looking at the breadth of them, I can say this: All of the experiences have served as places and positions of learning and have helped mold me into the employee that I am today. To borrow a verse from Headlong Flight:

All the journeys
Of this great adventure
It didn’t always feel that way
I wouldn’t trade them
Because I made them
The best I could
And that’s enough to say…

I’ve found that I quite enjoy working in IT; it was something of an unexpected and unplanned career path, but it’s also been a good fit for me. I’ve been fortunate to be in positions learn about and work with current and emergent technologies. And, while some of it’s been a lot of “work” – and has had me nearly at wits’ end on occasion – it’s been fun. Besides, who doesn’t love a good challenge?!

I’d like my future to continue to chart an upward course. Would I like to “get out of the trenches” and into a management track again, someday? Sure, if the right opportunity presents itself. For now, though, I’m happy with what I do.

Namaste.

Wednesday – 07 January 2015
Day 7: You’ve made it one week! Reflect on what this newfound practice has been like. Getting through the first seven consecutive days is truly the hardest part. Have you enjoyed it? Has it been difficult? Has it been what you expected?

To quote Barenaked Ladies: It’s been… one week…

I have enjoyed getting back into the habit of writing daily. I had slipped into the bad habit of getting lazy and just assuming that I’d get around to writing later. Occasionally, I would, but more often than not… I didn’t. This hasn’t been difficult. Just a matter of “doing.” As to what I expected? This. Just this. Writing.

All told, it’s been good… and fun.

And now, back to my regularly-scheduled evening.

Namaste.

Tuesday – 06 January 2015
Day 6: Pick a quote from our 80-ish quotes on manhood and reflect on why it stands out to you. Does it reflect a man that you aren’t yet, but hope to be? Does one of them remind you of a great man in your life who you’ve tried to model? If you can’t seem to reflect on a single quote, just take the time to write out a few of them that you like. Doing so will keep them top-of-mind and perhaps lead to some thoughts later down the road.

It’s been something of “a day,” but I wanted to make sure that I did this. I tried to narrow it down to a quote, but there were just too many good ones. I’m also going to take up the last sentence of today’s challenge and write a few thoughts about them.

Here we go..

“A man’s ledger does not tell what he is, or what he is worth. Count what is in man, not what is on him, if you would know what he is worth—whether rich or poor.” –Henry Ward Beecher

Too often, we make much ado about what a person has, rather than who that person is.

Isn’t this one pretty self-explanatory?

“This is the test of your manhood: How much is there left in you after you have lost everything outside of yourself?” –Orison Swett Marden

What defines who you are?

Don’t expect things to be handed to you. Fight for yourself and achieve on your own. Accomplish the goals you set for yourself. But, when someone does give you something: Accept it with a grateful heart.

Joy. Wonder. Awe. With even the smallest of things. Why should we be expected give these up just because you get older?

I’m going to challenge this one a bit. I don’t think that we always want things to feel like an uphill battle, but I will agree that the sense of accomplishment that comes from conquering a challenge is usually pretty amazing.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had a number of good examples of good men in my life. (A few bad ones, too.) And their examples have always been more helpful than platitudes.

Stagnation ruins many things, people, places, and things. I think that this item speaks not just to manhood, but to life, as well. Who wants to be the same person at 60 that you were at 40, or 20?

“A man should be able to hear, and to bear, the worst that could be said of him.” –Saul Bellow

To quote Ray Charles:

I’ve been abused
In my heart
I’ve been accused
I’ve been ‘buked
People talkin’ tryin’ to break us up, yeah
Scandlizin’ my name
They’ll say anything just to make me feel bad
Yes anything to make me shame
Bricks and stones may break my bones
But talk don’t bother me

One should not only be able to listen to the negative things that people say, but – if there is a measure of truth in them – learn and grow from them.

“Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.” –Malcolm X

Brother Malcolm’s early teachings were often colored by his early life experiences and often came across as harsh and aggressive, but there was still truth in them. And this is one of them. There are things that are worth fighting for and not just sit idly aside and let pass you by.

“Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine!” –The Count of Monte Cristo

Yes, life will bring adversity. It’s life. That’s what it does. Face whatever it throws at you and bend without breaking. Then take whatever you went up against, learn from it, and put it behind you.

All that… AND I still made it before the day was done. I call that a “win.”

Namaste.

Monday – 05 January 2015
Day 5: Write a letter to a loved one. Chances are high that there is someone in your life that you’d like to say something important to. Maybe it’s a wife, a parent, a grandparent you never really got to say goodbye to…take the time today to write that out. It can be positive, negative, or anywhere in between. The beauty of this letter is that you aren’t sending it in the mail, you’re simply “voicing” something that needs to be said. Should you choose to share it later, that’s okay, but you don’t have to. Doing this can be a great way to heal anger that’s been pent up inside, or to release a pressure valve of sadness we may have been harboring over something lost.

This is another fairly easy and straightforward item. All of my biological grandparents were deceased by the time I got married or had kids. I have been fortunate and blessed enough to have step-grandparents (and a grandfather-in-law) and a pretty kick-ass great-grandmother-in-law (seriously, how many hyphens can I fit in a name!?), to help fill in the gaps.

But, I’d still love the chance to say a few things to my grandparents. So…

Grandparents:
I hope that you’re well. You’re definitely missed. And you’ve missed out on some pretty interesting things

For starters, I moved to Utah. (Okay, Grandma N. knew that one…) Yes, Utah. Long story, short version: I met someone and wound up moving out here. It didn’t exactly work out. That’s okay. Things got better.

Fast forward a few years… and I met Sara.

Not only is she amazing, but she puts up with me, too. We met in… 2002 or 2003, I think – it may have been a year or so earlier – as part of the same coffee and beer group, but we were both seeing other people at the time. A few years after that, we met at another coffee-and-beer function and she asked me out. I said “yes,” and we went out a few weeks later. And kept going out. And, finally…

…and bought a house…

…and had a couple kids…

I’m sorry that you never got the chance to meet Sara and the girls. You’d love them.

I’m sorry that you didn’t get to be here for a lot of things.

But, mostly I miss you being around.

Love,
Rob

Sunday – 04 January 2015
Day 4: Via negativia; today, pick a habit that you’d like to eliminate from your life. Bad habits are like armpits, we all have ‘em and they all stink. Whether cutting soda out of your life, or putting a stop to your porn addiction; either way, as with yesterday, think about the steps you’ll take in order to put the kibosh on that negative habit. And again, also think about how you’ll keep yourself accountable to that goal.

This one is easy: I’d like to eliminate my occasional lack of patience with Team DiVa.

They’re three and despite their precocious natures, they sometimes – not surprisingly – act like… three-year-olds. There are times when they do things that are 180 degress opposite of what I’ve asked or told them to do.

At these times, my patience is tested… irritation peaks… and temper flares.

The main thing that I need to do is: Remember that they are three and respond to them calmly… even – or especially – when I want to explode inside. Take a deep breath. Walk away. You know: Be (or at least act like) a mature adult.

Fortunately, Sara! is good about pointing out when my response to the girls is disproportionate to their behavior. I’m becoming more aware of my reactions and and trying to be better about being more even-tempered in dealing with the girls when they’re pushing the envelope.

As the saying goes: The longest journey beings with a single step.

Namaste.

Saturday – 03 January 2015
Keeping up with the challenge…

Day 3: Decide on one positive habit you’d like to implement in your life. Whether seemingly mundane (like flossing) or perhaps life-altering (exercising every day), think of something you’d like to add to your life that will be beneficial. Then, think about the steps you’ll take to get there, and how you’ll keep yourself accountable.

The habit I want to implement – actually re-implement – is working out again. Sara and I have bandied this about for a while and we think that we’re at a point where our schedules should allow for us to get back to the gym.

We’re starting next month and, from there, getting back in to the routine of getting into shape. We’ve been out of the game for too long. Aside from that, it will be good for our overall health and well-being. As to accountability? I can’t speak for Sara, but I’m trying to get into shape to hopefully pull off a new Luke Cage cosplay by the time Comic Con rolls around. That’s going to take some work.

Here’s to a fitter us in 2015!

Friday – 02 January 2015
I’m really trying to get back in the habit of blogging more regularly here.
…and at Pinstripes and Polos.
… and at Four-Color Coverage.

I found an article, Jumpstart Your Journaling: A 31-Day Challenge, that might just be the impetus I needed to get myself back into the swing of things.

Granted, this blog isn’t as much “journal” as it is “repository for impulses, images and other echoes,” but the principles are similar enough that I think that I can employ some/most of the techniques.

With that, I’m going to put this entry to work doing double-duty: Day One and Day Two’s challenges. Granted, I wrote a post yesterday, so I’m kind of up on that, but in the interest of adhering to the challenge, I’m going to do the Day One Challenge.

• Day 1: Start with answering the question of why you want to journal, and beyond that, why you decided to embark on this 31-day experience. Write out what you’d like to get from journaling.

  When I started this blog, it was originally to get ideas for writing (prose, poetry, whatever really…). It wound up becoming a chimera of daily observations, things going on with me and the people around me, noteworthy things in the news, and a few ideas for writing. And it was good.

  What I hope to get out of this challenge is to get back into the flow of doing that on a regular basis. Even if it isn’t daily, I want to get back in the habit of writing regularly… or, if not writing, just sketching something – another thing I haven’t really done in far too long – and posting it online.

• Day 2: Continuing to work within that idea of constraints, try to write a 6-word memoir of your life so far. This idea is rumored to have originated from Papa Hemingway. The benefit is that with only six words, you really have to filter your life to what you deem most important. It may take you many iterations, but you’ll end up with something that speaks largely to who you are, if not in toto, then at least in this moment in time.

  Faced challenges. Learned lessons. Still growing.

That was a good first (and second) step. Now to make sure that the ball doesn’t stop rolling.

Namaste.

Thursday – 01 January 2015
Today begins a new year.  I hope that you, your families and those special to you have a happy and prosperous year.

No matter what 2014 brought you – good or bad –  you have faced it and made it through. I challenge you to do it again.

Be well and be good to each other.

Namaste.