Random Access

Hero.

he·ro n. pl. he·roes
• In mythology and legend, a man, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed with great courage and strength, celebrated for his bold exploits, and favored by the gods.
• A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life: soldiers and nurses who were heroes in an unpopular war.
• A person noted for special achievement in a particular field.
• The principal male character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.

Heroes. Many people have them. They come in many forms: super-powered and spandex- (or kevlar-) clad ; sports figures; people who have decided to stand up for their rights or the rights of others; and other men and women of integrity and character. Heroes have been part of human culture since we learned to communicate.

• Epic tales of a hunters’ triumphs over clawed and fanged beast decorate ancient cave walls.
• Mythologies from all over the world tell of unlikely women and men overcome oppressive odds to defeat fantastic creatures.
• Tall tales and legends relate stories of larger-than-life figures who made incredible feats seem run-of-the-mill.
• Strange visitors from other planets with power beyond those of mortal men patrol the skies, protecting us from evils seen and unseen.
• People who represent the pinnacle of human achievement in sports perform with almost superhuman grace and skill, doing things that echo in our dreams and that we clumsily attempt to recreate in our backyards and playgrounds.
• Women and men reach the limits of their endurance and fight back against their oppressors.
• Police officers, firefighters, doctors, and teachers put their knowledge and training to use in helping others.

Personally, I think that the word “hero” has been overused. According to the definition above, the word is being used correctly, but how often do we really consider “why” we label someone a hero? What makes someone stand out so far above others that we deem them worthy of awe? I have had a number of heroes of my own. I still do. I go to the comic shop to get the latest adventures of the X-Men or Superman or other costumed adventurers. I turn on Sunday afternoon/Monday night football games to watch my favorite teams struggle to control 100 yards of turf. I wait anxiously for the last pitch of the ninth inning. I watch as the basketball arcs through the air in a static-charged arena, swishing through the net as the buzzer sounds. I watch the news for stories of the men and women of our law enforcement agencies putting their lives at risk so that we can sleep safely at night. I hear reports of doctors making dramatic breakthroughs to help improve “the human condition.” I call home.

What was that?

Yes, I said “I call home.”

I carry the genetic makeup of my two greatest heroes. No, neither of them has a secret lair or an invisible airplane, but they are heroes, nonetheless. No, bullets don’t bounce off my chest and cannot I read the minds of those around me, but I have been blessed to have two wonderful parents who not only taught me what it means to be a decent person, they showed me. They raised my siblings and me in homes that were not filled with alien technologies and the latest crime fighting gear, but were full of care, concern and love. No matter what it was that we did, our parents were there for us. If being supportive meant that sometimes they had to let us learn to fly – and come crashing to the ground – they did. As great as the impulse may have been to save us from painful situations, they knew that some things had to be experienced firsthand and as painful as some of those learning moments were, I thank them for respecting me enough to let me learn them… even with all of the bumps and bruises – physical and emotional – that came with them. They also taught us to stand up for our beliefs and principles and also to stand up for and with those around us who were unable to stand alone. They taught us that success does not always come immediately or with great fanfare, but that it can take time for some goals to come to fruition. They taught us that we may have to put aside our wishes in the interests of others. They taught us that while life is not always fair, if we were patient enough that all things work out in time. They taught us to respect others and – equally if not more importantly – to respect ourselves.

I know that I will not be called up by Phil Jackson to fill out his roster for his next championship team. Nor will Mike Hargrove ask me to take Cal Ripken’s spot at third base. Nor will I don a brightly-colored costume and bend steel in my bare hands… not that I couldn’t, but one must be fashionable at all costs. I know that I can live up to the examples of my mother and father. And that’s heroic enough for me.

As a final note, I am including the lyrics to a song that I think works as a good corollary to tonight’s topic:

Nobody’s Hero -Rush, from the CD “Counterparts” (c) 1993

I knew he was different in his sexuality
I went to his parties as a straight minority
It never seemed a threat to my masculinity
He only introduced me to a wider reality
As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that he was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he’s nobody’s hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero — lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries
Hero — not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero’s role
Hero — not the glamour girl
Who’d love to sell her soul
If anybody’s buying,
Nobody’s hero

I didn’t know the girl, but I knew her family
All their lives were shattered in a nightmare of brutality
They try to carry on, try to bear the agony
Try to hold some faith in the goodness of humanity
As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that she was gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But she’s nobody’s hero
Is the voice of reason against the howling mob
Hero — is the pride of purpose
In the unrewarding job
Hero — not the champion player
Who plays the perfect game
Hero — not the glamour boy
Who loves to sell his name
Everybody’s buying
Nobody’s hero

As the years went by, we drifted apart
When I heard that you were gone
I felt a shadow cross my heart

But he’s nobody’s hero
Saves a drowning child
Cures a wasting disease
Hero — lands the crippled airplane
Solves great mysteries
Hero — not the handsome actor
Who plays a hero’s role
Hero — not the glamour girl
Who’d love to sell her soul
If anybody’s buying,
Nobody’s hero

Hero.

::: attaching cape and flying off into the night :::

Peace.

Musings for a Sunday night/Monday Morning…

Have you ever noticed how much worse the idea of “work” seems after a long weekend? I was sitting in the car on the way home contemplating the pros and cons of taking tomorrow of. I thought about something just before I made the call: If I took tomorrow off, I could see myself easily falling into the pattern of wanting to take time off at the slightest whim. While that does have a very appealing side, the downside – less money on Ye Olde Paycheck – provides a reminder of why staying at work is a good thing.

Something that I fail to understand is the lack of an apparent work ethic in many people in my age bracket (25-35). I will admit that there are those who don’t mind putting their noses to the grindstone to get their piece of the “American Dream,” but I know a few people for whom work seems more like an inconvenience or an annoyance. Is work inconvenient? That depends on your point of view; for me, it is not. Is it an annoyance? If you have read any of my posts that have dealt with my job, I think that you know what my answer is “sometimes.” Actually, let me amend that: Work can be an annoyance, but that is not always the case.

• I know people who love their jobs. These people do what they like (even LOVE) to do. For them, it isn’t “work” as much as it is “a labor of love;” one day, in the not too distant future, I hope to join them.
• I also know people who go to work because they “have a job to do.” For the most part, they don’t necessarily like or dislike their jobs, they just do them.
• There are those who work because they have to. Hand-to-mouth. Paycheck-to-paycheck. Day-to-day.
• There are the retired. In my opinion, these people have earned the right to do whatever it is that they choose – work part-time, volunteer, travel, whatever.
• There are those who, due to illness or affliction, are unable to work.
• I also realize that there are “grey areas” that exist between and within these distinctions.

As I said: I don’t understand the lack of motivation in members of my age group. Some of them seem not to care about whether or not they have a job. This is an alien concept to me. I guess that I am just old-fashioned, but I have grown up with the understanding that work was something that was just another part of life. I was also taught by my parents that while you may not always want to work, you get in there, do your job, and do it the best at that job that you can. Again, this was something that was just “understood.” I don’t know if thinking along these lines places me a little inside or outside of “the norm;” that’s just the way that I’m wired.

• I am not independently wealthy, so I have to work. I accept that and I have no problem with this.
• I’m good at what I do – by my own standards and by those of my peers and my superiors.
• I like my job… for the most part. But, even here, there are aspects of any job that can be loved or hated, depending on the day or the person or the situation.
• I am blessed and/or lucky to have a job. I know that there are people, in this country and abroad, who would jump at the chance to do jobs that many of us would consider “beneath us.” I am smart enough to realize that I have a rather “cushy” job and that I probably get paid more than I should for it. As much as situations at work may grate on my nerves, I am thankful to not only have a job, but to also be fit enough of body and mind to be able to work.

I am NOT trying to chastise someone for choosing not to work. If you are lucky enough to not have to work, more power to you. If you are unable to work, may you be blessed with the assistance, love and support of family and friends who truly care for you and your well-being. If, however, you have bills to pay and/or a family to support and you are constantly bemoaning how everything seems to be working against you and you don’t have enough money because you either don’t work, won’t work or don’t want to work, please don’t expect me to show sympathy unless you can show valid reasons why you shouldn’t be held to the same standards as most of us.

NOTE:I actually know someone who falls into this category. This person comes to work a few days a week and then decides, for whatever reasons, to call in or leave early the rest of the week… and then complains about not having the money to do things – and this includes paying bills and making sure that their family has what 99.44% of us would consider necessities.

These are just my opinions and I would be happy to hear others’ thoughts on the matter.

Thanks for listening.

Peace.

Didn’t do a lot today, but I had a good time doing it.

• Slept in. ::: bliss :::
• Got up and lazily performed all of the perfunctory rituals.
• Attempted, unsuccessfully, to fathom the mysteries of the laptop’s malady.
• Spent the afternoon and evening with Dee (a coworker), his wife Kim and their sons – we cooked out and then watched the Roy Moseley, Jr. fight.
• Came home and am trying to figure out what’s buggering up the PC.

No rest for the wicked.

Oh well, we’ll see what tomorrow brings.

Peace.

Yet another good day:

• Mallday – It was actually at the mall today. Imagine that!
• Went to the inlaws’ to get some drivers for the laptop.
• Finalized the when/where details for P.o.t.A.
• Came home and waited for Jess.
• Met Angie and Scott at the theatre; more on the movie in a bit.
• Went to Angie’s and watched the last half of “The Ref,” which I’ve never seen before.
• Went on a quest in search of The Big Hit, for Scott and to return some movies.
• Came home.

Now, on to Planet of the Apes. I won’t say that it was a “great” film, at least not when compared to something like the AFI “100 Greatest Movies,” but it was definitely a fine way to spend a few hours. Tim Burton and the cast and crew did an excellent job of bringing the world of Pierre Boulleinto the 21st Century. Some of the story was predictable, but there were enough twists to keep it interesting. The effects, done by ILM, were very good. And Rick Baker‘s makeup was nothing short of spectacular. But, while I give the “two opposable thumbs up” (pardon the anatomy humor), I am still going to refer to it as “Marky Mark and the Monkey Bunch.”

Anyway, that’s it for now.

Peace.

Overall, it’s been another good day.

Work was bearable – for the 5-1/2 hours that we were there. Today was my Friday AND I have a 3-day weekend! Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

Left work and headed to the comic shop for my fix. I think that I’ll leave today’s comic chat at this, although I will reserve the right to come back to it later. Disclaimers. Gotta love ’em.

We came home and hung out for a while and then left around 9:45pm to go to Angie’s gig at the Lazy Moon Bar; I don’t think that I’ve mentioned it, but Angie is the bass player for the band Groove Dilemma. It wasn’t a big turnout, considering that it is a “school night,” but they sounded good… and it looked as though they were having a lot of fun in the process. That’s what counts. After that, it was hometime, again.

Sitting in my Playspace, I started messing around with the laptop and made a rather disturbing discovery: It’s borked. *sigh*

• The CD-ROM has renamed itself.
• It isn’t playing nice with the other kids (not connecting to the network).
• And it’s just plain pissing me off.

So, after making sure that it’s really being a moody amalgamation of silicon and that I’m not as mentally deficient as I sometimes seem, I took what I deemed a necessary action: I restored it to factory defaults. This means that I get to look forward to lots of fun things:

• uninstalling some of the default software,
• reinstalling software that I’d put on there,
• finding out what other insidious things decided to go wrong.

I [heart] my laptop.
Well, it’s time for the Sisko Show, so I guess that about wraps it up for now.

And tomorrow is Mallday and Movienight; these come under the heading of “good things.” No clue where we’re doing lunch… or even IF we’re doing lunch, but we are going to see Marky Mark and the Monkey Bunch tomorrow evening. I really hope that it doesn’t pull a Mission to Mars or Deep Blue Sea on us. Sorry, if you’re fans of those movies, but they were big wastes of celluloid, in my opinion. And “that movie” which was based on a certain (good and fun) role-playing game? That took “disappointment” to an entirely new level.

More later.

Peace.

Today was another good day; I like this trend.

After a stop for frozen mocha goodness, we stopped by the inlaws’ for a few minutes to drop off a radio for Sandi’s ‘new’ car; she just got a red ’72 VW Beetle convertible. Cute car, but the radio in it doesn’t work, and I happened to have an extra one, so… I gave it to her. And then, on to work!

Veni, Scribi, VROOOM!!!
“I came, I typed, I got the Hell out of there!”
Actually, it was a pretty good day. We have a series of terminals with on-screen displays and I happened to commandeer one today. I adjusted the RGB outputs so that my screen was red; I received many strange looks and queries. Go figure. I changed it to green after lunch. Same brand different flavor. A couple of people tried to see how I had changed it… unfortunately, they missed a couple of important steps in getting to the configuration menu for setting the RGB content, so I seriously doubt that they will be changing anything anytime soon. Silly rabbits, Trix are for kids!

Today’s discussions ranged from “How closed-minded are Americans when it comes to issues of the world” to “What kind of game would you design given the proper tools and money?” The most unusual topic derived from movie talk. We were talking about why sequels don’t always measure up to their antecedents. We got around to the first two Superman movies and the Star Wars trilogy and decided that – for the most part – they did a good job of maintaining continuity and story flow. We just won’t even mention the last two Superman movies.

::: waves hand in front of readers :::
There were only TWO Superman movies….
Where were we? Oh, yes… We started getting into very random thoughts around this time and out of left field came the question: “For all of his Jedi powers, can you imagine Yoda getting his swerve on?” Think about it: Yoda was 900 years old. There had to be a Mrs. Yoda or someone that he was intimate with. “All Force and no sex a very cranky Jedi master makes Yoda, yes.” Wait… He WAS pretty cranky in Empire. *ponder* That could explain a lot; I’ll have to mention that possibility tomorning. We also started talking about the upcoming Planet of the Apes. This looks like it will be verra interesting. The-Livejournaler-Known-As-Agrobat referred to it as “Marky Mark and the Monkey Bunch.” I was laughing so hard that I sent 90% of the mail that I was keying to the far side of Guam. (Ok, ok, ok…. I didn’t really, but it was within the realm of possibility.)

Well, that about wraps it up. L&O just went off, so I guess that I should prepare for an in-depth inner eyelid study.

Peace.

Twas a good day, this one.

Woke up, performed the daily hygiene ritual, packed my lunch and went to work. One of the benefits of keying is that you get to sit and be relatively mindless for fifty-five minute stretches. Oddly enough, this is one of the great detractors, as well. Depending on where you are in the building, you can even talk with the person/people immediately adjacent to you; I was informed that this policy may be changing in the near future. Whoopee. We’ll have to see about this one. After about an hour, I started getting tired. This was not a good thing. So, I did what any other self-respecting working stiff in my position would do: I started selecting the loudest and fastest musical selections I could find. These were a nominal help. Next hour was more of the same, with one exception: batteries in the CD player died. Okay, this does not bode well: Half-hour to next break, I’m tired, and the only thing that was keeping me awake just bailed on me. Shoot me now. Being the lightning-fast mentalist that I am, it only took me another three minutes to remember that I had brought my mp3-laden laptop with me. Salvation was at hand! Cue the angelic chorus and the light from on high. When they offered an early dismissal at 3:30, Jess and I lit out of there as though the hounds of Hell themselves were on our heels.

We headed to a couple of stores (I had to pick up the limited-edition Akira. No. Really, I HAD to… the little voices said so!) and then met Angie for dinner. Scott showed up a little later and then we split up: Scott and I to his place to watch Akira; Jess and Angie came here to watch Where the Heart Is. We met up after our respective movies for yet another late/early breakfast.

Came home, talked with Jess for a bit and now… it’s L&O time.

Yes, twas indeed a good day.

Peace.

Good day.

Jess and I were supposed to go to lunch with Sivvy, but she woke up later than expected so we postponed. We went to TGIFridays and had a nice lunch for two; we don’t often get a chance to do that – being at the whim of Uncle Sam as we are – so it was rather nice. Then it was off to the local Barnes & Noble and then on to the inlaws’. I had to show Sandi and Jim a few things on their new digicam. After that, we had dinner and watched “Unbreakable.” Hmm… this just seems to be a comic book-themed week. Nice.

We came back home to find that Jess’ monitor is one cable in the grave. Or is that the only cable that’s NOT in the grave? Hmm. ::: looks closer ::: Yep. That’s definitely the last one to go. I guess there’s a trip to the puter store in the future. Of course, I could also get new parts to build myself a new system, too. Have to keep that idea in mind.

Tomorrow we get to return to the 3rd (possibly 4th) Happiest Place on Earth. Yay. I am fighting the urge of calling in tonight and taking the day off. Decisions, decisions… Of course, there is that whole “It would be nice to have money on the next paycheck” thing. Maybe I’ll just leave early. Maybe I’ll stay for the whole day… after all, I only have 3 workdays left in the week.

I believe that it’s time for a little cake and ice cream now. Their siren calls beckon me from the kitchen and I am helpless to resist…

More later.

Peace.

Today was a pretty good day.

Highlights include: talking to my grandmother (it was her birthday), Mom and one of my sisters, Dad, and my uncle; I even had to try to troubleshoot my uncles computer over the phone. Other than that, came home ate and watched the Sisko Show. It’s the little things that make it all worthwhile.

I talked to my other sister for a while last night. She graduated from the University of Maryland this past December and decided to join the Peace Corps. This threw most of the family for a loop. Me? I thought that it was pretty damned cool; you don’t hear about someone doing that too often these days. And, she’ll actually get to use skills from her major – International Relations with a concentration in Russian. She FINALLY found out where she will be going: Ukraine. She’s leaving on 13 Sept, which pretty much guarantees that I won’t see her before she leaves, but I’ll talk with her PLENTY between now and then.

Ukraine. Who knew?!

Tomorrow is Monday for the rest of the world. For me it’s Saturday. Three more days in the work week and then I’m off again on Friday.

I really should be working on that new picture or, even better, trying to get one of the stories that I have been (not) working on into Ye Olde Word Processor. I may work on the pic for a while tonight; that would be a “good” thing. Of course, it IS the hair that I have to work on… and that prospect doesn’t exactly thrill me.

I’d better get to it…

Peace.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Today wasn’t bad; it was a beautiful day outside but I couldn’t go play in it. Oh, the joyous life of a 204-B. Work wasn’t too bad either. There was one small “hiccup,” which wasn’t our fault, but we handled it and moved on. Tomorrow will hopefully be just as uneventful… and I have Monday off.

TGIM.

Hmm. That just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “TGIF.” Oh well.

After Thursday’s “Who should play Wonder Woman” post… and hearing Matchbox 20’s “The Real World,” I started thinking about “The Man of Steel” miniseries and “Superman” regular series that John Byrne did for DC Comics in the late ’80s. It was a complete reworking of the Superman mythos after their continuity-smashing maxi-series “Crisis on Infinite Earths.” But I digress…

Byrne created a Superman who was never “Superboy,” but whose powers developed slowly, as he grew older. One scene shows a 16-year-old Clark Kent discovering that he could fly; he flew in loops and barrel rolls all the way home. Byrne continued this “flights of fancy” trend in a couple of other issues of the miniseries and also on the regular run of “Superman;” often you’d see Superman flying upside-down or just having fun flying around.

I started thinking about the line from the song: “What would it be like if I could fly around downtown?” Aside from never having to worry about parking, that is. The thought of being able to push off and just… GO…. too cool. Ok, to me it is.

A couple of weeks ago, some friends and I took a small break from what passes for “reality” at work and took off on the topic: “If you could have up to any three powers, what would they be?” While I remember that there were some rather “interesting” ideas and combinations that came to mind, I don’t remember what most of them were. Mine were: Flight, superspeed, and enhanced/superhuman strength. I even had reasons for ’em, too:

• Flight: Do I even need to go over this one?
• Speed: This one’s easy too – It wouldn’t be too effective to be able to fly no faster than you could walk.
• Strength: You’d want to be able to carry someone or other things with you and not be bogged down, so to speak.

Yes, we ponder the great mysteries of the universe at work.

And, since you’re reading this, if you’re so inclined, what three powers would you choose and why?

Anyway, looks like we’re about to head out and have a late/early breakfast, so I’d better get a move on.

Now where’d I put that damned cape?

Peace.

Yes, it’s another mid-workday entry – they let us leave… and we ran!

There was a good chance that this was going to be a full day – we had a staff meeting scheduled at 5pm. Of course, this meeting was scheduled by the senior managers and none of the supervisors had a clue as to the whys and wherefores. THAT was why we couldn’t leave early – we had to attend. Bessie, one of the full supervisors, told Jess at 4:30 that the meeting was going to be postponed until Monday… and that we could go. Jess relayed the message to me. And then, it was off to the races!

I stopped in one of the back offices to say ‘bye to Gary and to tell him that the meeting was off; no one had told him either. He asked if I knew what was the meeting about. I told him that I didn’t but that it was probably “upper management ego masturbation.” He agreed. Then we laughed. A lot. Loudly.

Left work. Stopped at Ye Olde Shoppe of Comics and picked up my books. Came home.

Now, it looks like we’re off for dinner and a movie. Or something.

More later.

Peace.

Yup. It’s a mid-workday entry.

I left work early. I usually try not to do that unless it’s Friday; Fridays make it alright to want to ditch work (or leave early) just on general principle. But, I figured that since I’m supervising this weekend (higher-level pay AND 8 hours of Sunday premium pay), I can swing taking a few extra hours off.

Pretty quiet day, so far.

• Woke up; and as always, I consider that a good way to start the day.
• Did the daily rituals – I didn’t have to pack a lunch today since Jess (the coolest gf in the world) packed one for me last night from some of the dinner leftovers.
• Got a cup of frozen mocha goodness.
• Stopped at the mall on the way to work for Cinnabons.
• Worked and left early.

And there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

I was talking with a friend at work and our discussion drifted into comic books and related media. Imagine that. We got onto the topic of “Who should play Princess Diana in the Wonder Woman movie?” One of the front-runners is Sandra Bullock. I’m not exactly thrilled with that. And it’s not that I don’t like Ms. Bullock; I do. I think that she’s a good actress, but she has a couple of things that I think work against her:

• Diana is an Amazon; Sandra is 5’=7-1/2″
• Diana, when drawn correctly, has a rather exotic look; Sandra looks more like the girl next door.
• Diana, also when drawn correctly, has an athletic build, in fact, you could even say that she’s “buff”; Sandra was a high school cheerleader (okay, that’s athletic), but doesn’t strike me as someone I’d expect to see tossing cars around.
• Diana has one of the most easily recognizable costumes in pop culture; Sandra doesn’t want to wear it.

As you can see, we tend to discuss the really thoughtful questions that affect humanity and the human condition at work.

Anyway, my 2¢ on whom they should cast:

• Gabrielle Reese – She’s tall (6′-3″); athletic (pro volleyball player); and, fortunately, she has some acting experience (“Gattaca,” “Arli$$,” and she’s a former MTV VJ/Sports commentator);
• Catherine Zeta-Jones – The only drawback is her height (5′-8″), but she’s fits just about everything else, I think;
• Terry Farrell – Formerly of TV’s “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” and currently on CBS’ “Becker,” she’s got the height (6′) and the acting experience AND she’s fairly athletic.

Like I said: That’s just my opinion. Feel free to comment on who you think might be suited for the role.

And on that note (F#), I’m outta here… for now.

Peace.

A typical workday Wednesday…

• Woke up.
• Did the daily rituals.
• Fixed my lunch.
• Went to work… and was asked to supervise this weekend.
• Came home.
• Cooked dinner (chicken breasts, rice, and mixed vegetables) and ate.
• Started to develop a slight headache. *yay*
• Took a relaxing shower.

And that brings us up to L&O time…

About the only thing that’s left is to try and figure out what to do about the hair on this picture that I’m working on. *sigh* This has to be the slowest part of the whole process.

That wraps it up for now. I think that I may actually try to get to bed at something that resembles a “decent hour,” at for me.

Peace.

Today wasn’t bad, but there was a cloud over it… and, oddly enough, I consider that a “good” thing.

During the course of today’s work conversation, we stumbled onto the topic of some of the things (ass-backwards and otherwise) that members management, including supervisors, do. I was also asked if it was hard for me, as a supervisor, to do my job with some of the stipulations/restrictions/general horseshit put upon us by the senior managers. I was also asked how difficult it was difficult to do things “in good conscience” when we are given certain tasks by our superiors that we wouldn’t necessarily undertake. And, given the previous questions, did I think that it was worthwhile to remain a 204-B? These questions – and their answers – bugged me for about four hours.

I will be the first to admit: We have to put up with a number of things that range from “normal” to “inane” to “full-blown, batshit crazy.” You can look at my rants about the radios, scheduling problems and the whole “who’s the manager now” issues for examples. But, this is endemic to any job – any given person can find SOMETHING (or a number of somethings) within the organization for whom they work. I just tend to be a tad more vocal about mine.

Is it difficult to act in good conscience sometimes? Yes. There have been times that I have been called to do things that I would not have done had I been given the option. I can think of a specific instance that occurred recently – it was one of the days that I had to be “the bad guy.” I also think that due to the circumstances, this could come back to bite management in the ass. In fact, part of me hopes that it does. I think that it was a situation that could have been avoided if one of two things had happened:

1. Someone had made a decision about the potential problem during the hiring process.
2. Someone had consulted another office for advice on how to handle the situation after the person had been hired.

What actually happened? Everyone stuck their heads in the sand… and the problem continued to grow. It grew until, in a sudden moment of clarity, someone decided: “We need to do something about this.” Great. Isn’t it a little late to be wondering where to spray the water after the house has burned down? Yep. Thought so. And what was I left with? I got to be the face that bore the grim tidings from Olympus. *Yay* I wonder if the winged sandals the Mercury wore were not just for flight but also to get him the Hell out of the line of fire after he passed on a particularly distasteful message from Zeus. And what if it does come back to bite us… and more specifically ME? I was executing a task according to the instructions that were given to me by my immediate supervisor. Was it my duty to execute those orders? Yes. Did that make me happy? No.

Do I think that it’s worthwhile to be a 204-B (or possibly a full-time supervisor, should the opportunity arise)? Yes. I may be deluding myself, but I like to think that I am not only doing a good job but that I am also doing right by my employees. If they are doing a good job, I make sure that I let them know. That’s part of my job. If they’re not toeing the line, I tell them. That’s part of my job, too. I try to make those talks “learning moments” and put as much positive reinforcement as possible into them. That’s part of my job, too. In a nutshell: My job is to not only make sure that the DCOs under my supervision are doing their jobs, but also to make sure that they are being as effective as possible at doing that job. That’s what I am held accountable for. And as long as know that I am doing my job to the best of my abilities I can say that it’s worthwhile.

*WHEW*

As I said earlier, these Qs & As nagged at me for quite some time today. A lot of people assumed that I was upset during that time because I was… “less than social.” I wasn’t mad; I was trying to think outside of the box. I could have just spouted off an answer, but to me the questions were worth giving serious consideration. They deserved more attention than a simple “Sure. Yeah. You betcha.” They were ones that I felt deserved a rather in-depth look at my reasons for dealing with everything that comes along with the job title.

And THAT was not easy.

It’s easy to talk about how asinine certain things are. Anyone can do that. It’s not always so easy to look at the reasons that drive you to stay in a position that keeps you face-to-face with those things. We’ve had many people who have dropped from the 204-B program because they didn’t feel that it was worth it. Some have returned; some have not.

There are times when it feels like I am beating my head against a wall. There are times when I feel that the cons outweigh the pros. But for now it feels right. And it feels like I am doing good things. I think I’ll stick with it.

And that’s my 2¢ worth for tonight.

Peace.

Not really a lot to report today (for Monday)…

• Woke up a few minutes before the alarm… and nodded back off until it sounded.
• Did all of the standard morning rituals.
• Went to work… and stayed all day!
• Came home, mulled over what to eat (soup)
• Now, I’m working on a new picture to post on Renderosity.

And that’s about it until now. Actually, I may come back to the “stayed at work all day” thing a little later.

For now, back to the virtual drawing board.

Peace.