I had some… interesting/scary/odd (?)… news shared with me a little while ago.

I was talking with Derek, Cindy and Jake (coworkers) about Derek’s snowboarding mishap – he pierced a small hole in his lung last week while attempting a jump/slide. He’s okay, just in a little pain. But, I digress… Somehow, we got onto a subject that led us to bring up “The Coworker Formerly Known as Monkey 1.” This reminded Cindy of a story.

M1 was talking with Cindy about a Singles’ function (presumably in her Ward); she asked Cindy who in our office was single. Cindy rattled off the very short list of single men in our office.
My name was on said list.

M1 seemed shocked by this. And, at this point she apparently told Cindy that she thought that I was cute.

However, she apparently wasn’t aware how old I am/was, because Cindy said that M1 didn’t ask me to go becuase she thought that I was too young. Talk about dodging a bullet…

I had noted that she had been a difficult person to do tech support for, citing examples of her trying to take control of the mouse while I was working on a problem or hover over my shoulder while working. Jake piped up and said that I had it all wrong and that I had misunderstood: She wasn’t trying to take control of the mouse, “…she was going for a hand-hold and she wasn’t looking over your shoulder, she was just trying to get closer to you.” I told him, “I wouldn’t do her with your equipment with Derek pushing,” which was as office-safe as I could make the comment while still effectively getting my point across.

Cindy said that it could have been fun. I warned her that I would have been highly out of place in that Singles’ Ward situation. Derek said that he had a hard time imagining me out of place in many/most places. I agreed, but said that I was pretty sure that would have been one of them, though. Cindy asked why. I said that I would have been as out of place there as Cindy would have been at a…

At a…

I couldn’t come up with anything.

Jake did. “A Unix convention?”

Since none of us have word balloons that float over our heads, I asked, for clarification: “A eunuchs’ (*making a slashing motion in front of my crotch*) convention or a Unix – as in “geek” – convention?”

When he – and Cindy and Derek – stopped laughing long enough, he said that he “…meant ‘Unix,’ but either one would have worked.”