Tuesday – 21 April 2015
I knew that I wanted to post something this evening, but i wasn’t quite sure “what.”

I was helped in my decision by three things:

  1. A mental conversation that I had with myself on the way home,
  2. A friend’s announcement that her cancer is out of remission, and
  3. An off-hand comment that someone made to me in response to noting Item Number 2 that caught me sideways.

Let’s take these in order.

  • Item One
    On the way home, I asked myself: What is it that you cherish? 

    What I should have asked, while only a slightly different question, was: What do you cherish most? 

    To be honest, the first few things that came to mind when answering the first question were “things.” When I went back and prioritized my list to align properly with the second question, the “things” slipped a few notches.What I cherish the most are my family and friends. Period. Full stop.

    I have a small-ish family, by blood. I have a rather extensive extended family. Looking at it, I cast a rather large net when I define “my family.” They include the blood and by-marriage relations, but also a number of people who have become as close to me in spirit as those with whom I share biology.

    And, despite the miles apart or even the weeks or months between conversations, I’m glad to have them as part of my family. All of them.

  • Item Two
    I have a friend who fought – and beat – breast cancer five years ago. She’s a pretty amazing person, even without having beat cancer. Earlier today, she revealed that it was back. (I had a bit of a prelude of what was to come, from a conversation that we had last night.) She had the most amazing and positive attitude about beating cancer the last time, I expect nothing less than that same dogged determination in the way she faces it this time.After she made her announcement today, I realized that the two of us (among others) lost another friend – from the same circle of to friends – cancer… four years ago, I believe. I’m really hoping that it’s not something in the water, at this point.
  • Item Three
    I can be a rather flippant, at times. Cavalier, even. I admit that freely. But, I do know how – if not always when – to bite my tongue.Long story, greatly abridged version: This afternoon, I basically mentioned something related to my friend’s cancer returning. This evening, and rather out of the blue, I received a comment about what I had said. If I had to guess, it was a quick response to what I had said earlier – no true malice intended, but it came without context or understanding why I had commented the way I did. Reading it, I wasn’t mad. I was more annoyed at the way that it had come out of left field. I replied in a simple but very direct manner. Again, there was no malice, but I wanted to address it quickly and make it known that the comment was not appreciated.

    My message was received and acknowledged.

So, how do I tie all of these together in a big bow? Like this…

The person who made the comment is part of my family. My friend with cancer is part of “my family.” I love them both.

Do I have a problem reconciling this? Not really. Yes, there’s a part of me that is annoyed with the situations – the cancer and the comment – but at the end of the day, we’re still talking about two people for whom I care dearly.

That said, I ask those of you reading this to think about what it is that you cherish. Is it a thing or is it your relationships with your “family,” no matter how big or small it may be?

I’m not judging, either way. It’s not my place to give weight to what it is that other people value.

What I do ask is that you honestly assess what has such weight and meaning to you and show that care.

Be good to yourself. And to each other. And to those people, places, and things (hey, nouns!) that have meaning to and for you.

Namaste.