Thanks, again, go out to for lending me her copy of Squee’s Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors. In one series, Squee (Todd) is invited over to his classmate Pepito’s house for dinner…

Pepito’s Mother: Hi! You must be Todd. Come on in! Pepito! Your little friend is here!!
Pepito (off-panel): Coming Mother.
Mother: Such a polite boy.
Pepito (hovering at the top of the stairs): Ah, Todd!! You’ve arrived. We’ve still a few minutes before dinner is ready. Let us play.
Mother: What have I told you about floating in the house young man? I don’t know where you pick this stuff up from.
Squee: Umm… outside I saw a lot of smoke coming from your fireplace.
Pepito: It is not from the fireplace. It’s from the basement. Come I will show you.
::: Opens door to basement ::: See?
::: Basement is a flaming pit of torture and doom :::
Pepito: That smoke was from the roasting souls of the damned. Father likes to take his work home with him. Unfortunately, we move so often, and we have to take all of this with us everytime. Father always makes me help. I hate it.
Pepito’s Father (Juan) (nattily dressed in business suit and tie): Honey!! I’m home!!
Pepito: Hello, Father.
Juan: Hello, Son. Would you take this suitcase to the basement for me?
Mother: Hi, Muffin! How was work?
Juan: Oh, the usual. The usual. Mmm. Smells good! Lemme just change before dinner.
::: transforms into a horned, skull-headed demon :::
Juan: Ahhh… that’s better.
Mother: Oh yoouu!! hee hee.
::: Pepito throws screaming suitcase into the basement :::
Juan: Ah, you must be little Todd Casil. My son has told me of you.
Squee: (thought) Help me, God.
Juan: Shall we dine?
Squee: NO! NOOO!! I don’t wanna eat the toasty souls of the damned!!
Pepito: I thought we were having Stove Top? I want none of this soul-toast.
Mother: Souls? What are they talking about? I didn’t cook any souls, Juan.
Juan: Ah, darling, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. You see, I am Satan.
Mother: Hmmm… That explains the basement. But… I’ve always been such a good Christian woman.
Juan/Satan: Well… then let’s both be thankful for irony. So, Todd, my son tells me you wish to join my soulless army of darkness?
Squee: No, but once I wanted to be a giant monster.
Juan/Satan: What?!! Son, you have deceived me!! You know they must come willingly!! Honey, fill the bathtub with holy water.
Mother: Okee dokee!
Pepito: But, Father!! I’ve no one to play with in this infernal.. eh.. inferno!! Remedy this!!
Juan/Satan: Very well. Think of it, little Todd! All of the power, the influence you could have. I am there for you, faith in your heart or not. If the wider path be damned, then so be it!!! We’ve got nachos where they offer breadsticks!! I’ve got answers for what you lose sleep over!! No more confusion, fear or anything to make you question the value of it all!! All this for only a small registration fee!! WHAT DO YOU SAY, CHILD?!
Squee: Umm.. no thank you.
Juan/Satan: Well… that’s that.
::: They sit down to eat :::
::: Squee leaves after dinner :::
Mother: It’s been a pleasure! Bye-bye!!